The
United States Constitution is one of the most famous forms of the
Official Style. Lawmakers and lawyers alike make a living on
interpreting this wordy, complex document and presenting it as a code
for all American citizens to live by. While the Constitution is
difficult to understand, texts written about it and texts written about
law cases throughout history are even more difficult. I have selected a
journal piece from the Harvard Law Review on a case dealing with equal
protection to break apart, and to show how it acts within its activity
system as it is written in the Official Style.
Justices in the Supreme Court write opinions (and dissents) on the
cases they decide. These documents are notoriously lengthy; the
justices take months out of the year to write them. They eclipse every
aspect of the Official Style. The webpage for the Harvard Law Review
states their objective in the “About” tab: “The journal is designed to be an effective research tool for practicing lawyers and students of the law.” I
have taken this to mean that the articles will, in fact, be directed
towards an audience that is assumed to be knowledgeable on law; however,
it is to be written in a more understandable way than the Notes, Recent
Cases, Recent Legislation, and Book Notes that they are dissecting. I
chose to pick a journal from this source to examine under the scope of
the Official Style because I believe many journals from this site tend
to be a bit ambiguous in which style they are being written. The text
they cite is from court opinions from prior cases, and is usually very
difficult to understand. The author tries to make these complex ideas
more understandable. The problem with this is that they still write
within the Official Style realm. I would personally consider most
journals from the Harvard Law Review to be the on tip of the Official
Style. While they present aspects of it, they still strive to provide
clarity. I believe it is an excellent text to analyze because I will be
able to show characteristics of the style in both numerous judges and
justices jargonistic quotes as well as in the authors writing.
I
will explain the Official Style so you have a better sense of what I am
talking about. The use of it has become overwhelming in modern day
society. While it is easy to spot it is much more difficult to
understand. It is characterized by the text being wordy, indirect, and
quite honestly hard to understand. It seems often as if someone were to
open a thesaurus and choose ornate words in a verbose manner to
describe a relatively simple concept. Unfortunately, this style is used
quite frequently in contracts and important documents that people would
genuinely benefit from understanding. By writing in the Official
Style, some seek to confuse their audience to simply sign a document.
Other times, authors use the style to sound more educated and, well,
official. It was created for the scientific community to sound
impersonal and detached. Don’t get me wrong, the style can be a useful
tool to use in certain situations, but one must be able to dissect the
meaning out of this passive, complex writing tool if one wants to
achieve greatness as a writer.
The
journal that I chose to examine is titled, “Employment Law - Age
Discrimination - Seventh Circuit Holds That The ADEA Does Not Preclude §
1983 Equal Protection Claims. Levin v. Madigan, 692
F.3d 607 (7th Cir. 2012).” Yes, the title does seem to scream, “I am
complex and difficult to understand!” It has no given author, which is
typical of Harvard Law Reviews; it is thought that if you are
intelligent enough to be published by Harvard Law you don’t need the
satisfaction of seeing your name printed in ink. I will henceforth be
referring to the author as “he” for functionality purposes. This
document can be accessed through the Harvard Law Review database, or at
this link: http://www.harvardlawreview.org/media/pdf/vol126_levin_v_ madigan.pdf.
According readability-score.com the average grade level is 12.3, the
Flesch-Kincaid Reading Ease is 49, and the average words per sentence is
22.2 (analysis based off of one paragraph). in interpretation of these
results, one would presumably need above a high school education to
understand the content based upon grammar and word structure.
Levin v. Madigan
(2012) was a case in which the remedies for age discrimination were
discussed. Many federal circuit courts held that only the Age
Discrimination in Employment Act of 1967 (ADEA) protected state
employees. The Levin court
was the first one to declare that disgruntled employees could also seek
remedies under the Equal Protection Clause § 1983 (in law, the symbol
“§” stands for section). As mentioned before, Harvard Law Reviews are
written as a research tool for practicing lawyers and students of law.
The
activity system of this document does not appear to be overtly large.
Not many people besides lawyers and students tend to access law
reviews. Employers may perhaps stumble upon this particular one when
looking at what type of litigation they must be mindful of when in the
hiring, firing, or promoting process of either young people or the
elderly. Disgruntled workers may also access it when considering the
possibility of hiring a lawyer to represent them in a case and trying to
determine how much material they would have on their side. Even so, it
is presumably safe for the author to assume that the audience would
have some form of higher education and a sense of the legal system.
With that being said, I believe he made one exceptional error.
The
Official Style is characterized with many uses of jargon, as is this
journal. One key word used exhaustingly throughout it is “preclude,” it
is even used in the title. One would think that a word that is so
essential to the overall point that the author is trying to prove would
be defined, but it is not. It is used in all tenses (preclusion,
precluded, precluding) but never once is a concrete definition given to
explain exactly what the author is alluding to. You may be thinking
that this is not a strong enough example, most people with higher
education could define preclude for you. But what about words such as
mired, progeny, irreconcilable, or jurisprudence? These words reek of
jargon and the overuse of a thesaurus.
The
author attempts to write in the Plain Style by using metabasis. He
uses cue words such as “first,” “second,” etc. (see page 1416) to keep
the reader in line of the direction he is taking the article. This can
be seen as a bit ironic however because of his excessive use of the
words “however” and “therefore.” Virtually every paragraph includes
these words. It gives the feeling of the author talking circles around
himself. He makes one point, only to switch to a completely different
direction. This can be very difficult to follow, hence my argument for
the Official Style.
Along
with speaking around himself, he makes parts of his arguments
long-winded, twice as long as they need to be, so the reader almost
loses what the original point even was.
The
dashes used to offset a portion of the sentence are used a bit
erroneously. The idea is so long that the reader becomes confused.
Perhaps that idea would have been better fit in the footnotes. This
article does indeed use a large quantity of footnotes. About one-third
of every page is filled with them. Readers fear footnotes. They don’t
know what to do with them. Do you read them as you go? Come back and
read them when you’re done with the rest of the text? It is difficult
for audiences to comprehend. Luckily, the audience for this text
assumingly has a college education, but with that being said, it may
frighten off other potential readers.
Another tactic of making text long winded is to use a to-be verb plus a
prepositional phrase. All verbs are changed into nouns supported by a
form of the weak to-be verb. The author exemplifies this perfectly,
cited from page 1417, “And because the Supreme Court had previously held
that “age discrimination in employment violates the Equal Protection
Clause,” the Seventh Circuit found it was. Another example comes from
page 1415:
The
OIAG stands for the Office of the Illinois Attorney General and is a
perfect demonstration of the Official Style. Instead of simply saying
“we fired Levin for his poor performance,” they sidestep placing
responsibility on themselves by using “was” and not saying directly that
they were the ones doing the firing. By writing in this more
impersonal sort of way they can not only sound more professional but
also become more detached from the situation. It can be crucial in some
fields to pull your way from a situation. In the medical field for
example, having to write up case report after case report of failed
surgeries or deaths can become extremely overwhelming. Instead of
saying “I did this” or “I failed to do that,” the author can take a
passive voice and not claim action at all. This tactic can be key for
mental health.
The Official Style is significant in numerous situations. Whether it
is a good or bad approach to take is a judgment call but I have argued
that it has both positive and negative aspects. The Harvard Law Review
is an excellent example of the style being used in a positive sense. It
seeks to elaborate on much more difficult to understand texts while
keeping a unique, professional feel.
Erin Perry
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